What Makes a Good Logline?
By Mary Kole
Mary Kole is a former literary agent, freelance editor, writing teacher, author of Writing Irresistible Kidlit, and IP developer for major publishers, with over a decade in the publishing industry.
A good logline is always specific. This goes for any kind of writing, really. But if I’m reading either a pitch or a query letter or a bit of story tension that sounds great, but has no substance, the writer has bigger problems than they might think. Let’s unpack why specific writing makes for a good logline, and good prose.
Is This a Good Logline?
Imagine watching a movie trailer that sounds like this:
As the sun creeps over a desolate landscape, a voice of grave depth and timbre (think Will Arnett) rises in warning:
In a land of ruin and rubble, the peril of hidden secrets will push a single man to the brink.
Wow! The above, at first glance, sounds like it’s a good logline. Until you realize that you don't even know what the movie is about because the language used is so vague! This is not an example of a good logline because the verbiage doesn’t really say anything. There’s style, but no substance. Don’t let the style of what you’re saying convince you that there is specific heft to your logline, query letter, or writing.
This is something to avoid when crafting your writing or summarizing your story in what’s intended to be a good logline (generally defined as a pitch contained in several sentences). I often see this in the opening paragraphs of novels, too—writers trying to amp up the suspense by using words that sound like they could be in an action-movie trailer. This same approach is often used in query letters, where vagueness really is the enemy because literary agents and publishers only have one page to figure out what your book is about.
Too often, in novel openings, as well, I find abstract, non-specific descriptions of danger, mystery, excitement and action—but no tangible details that ground me in that particular story as a reader. We get bombarded with talk about peril and secrets, plus the emotion and activity associated with them, yet there’s no sense of what is actually happening. (Writers might be misguidedly not revealing the ending because they think an agent will be so enticed that they’ll make a full request. This approach is wrong. Agents won’t give up five hours of their nonexistent reading time because of one coy little teaser line in a query.)
Rather than simply hearing about “danger,” I want to be immersed in it, with a clear understanding of what it means for the specific characters of your story (and, of course, what the specific danger is). We can’t have any of this without a bit of specific context, because without any information at all, you can’t possibly build in high stakes. Stakes are all about specificity. Instead of just being told of “secrets,” I want to be floored by them and witness their effects on the characters and their relationships.
Language Makes a Good Logline
Writers are enthralled by words—they sort of have to be. Gathering words, analyzing them, reflecting on them—growing your writing vocabulary should be an essential element of the writing process. This isn’t just to pad your vocabulary, but so you can be effective at communicating your story, including creating a good logline. But word choice matters, and if you want to make a career as a writer, you need to make specificity your top priority.
English is a magnificently rich language and we have innumerable words to suit every conceivable situation. (Though there are some words in other languages that really capture thoughts and feelings that English doesn’t have words for, but this is another article altogether!) As I edited a manuscript the other day, I was reminded that specific word choices can have a massive impact.
While you’ve just learned that specificity makes a good logline, don’t now go in the opposite direction and make yours too wordy or erudite. It's an oft-believed misconception that Writers With a Capital W have to craft their writing with showy, intricate smart words, overwriting, and purple prose phrases—hoping to impress readers into taking them seriously.
Truth be told, achieving a simple and uncluttered style takes much greater effort and is the way to prove your worth as a writer. The objective of your word choices, especially when you’re aiming for a good logline, should be accuracy and specificity, not showmanship.
From a Good Logline to a Love Affair With Words
Start your journey by becoming more interested in words! Signing up for the Oxford English Dictionary's Word of the Day is a great way to start. By subscribing, you'll be sent a new word to learn every day. You should also read, read, read! Reading like a writer is the best way to improve your writing.
Nurture your passion for words and language by immersing yourself in them. Collect interesting words, jot down notes, and read with a highlighter in hand. Always keep a file of vocabulary—you never know when you'll need a special phrase for your writing! Build up your writer's vocabulary, and you'll never be left searching, especially when it comes to writing a specific and substantial good logline.
If you find yourself bogged down in your pitch by fuzzy language, come back to this pep talk and read it again. After all, a good logline leads (ideally) to a good manuscript and then to a good book deal for your work. And that’s the goal!
Click here to purchase Irresistible Query Letters, my book on query letters, including over forty examples with comprehensive notes on each one. There’s a ton of submission advice, best practices, and insider information in these pages, and you’ll really enjoy seeing what other writers are doing in the slush.